Annelise at the Nutcracker!

Annelise and I had the good fortune to invited on opening night to the Nutcracker Ballet at the Sacramento Community Center.  We had a lovely girls night out.  Thank you Natalee!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

 True Stories From The Butterball Turkey Hotline


* Thanksgiving Dinner on the run. A woman called 1-800-323-4848 to
find out how long it would take to roast her turkey. To answer
the question, the Talk-Line home economist asked how much the
bird weighed. The woman responded, "I don't know, it's still
running around outside."

* Tofu turkey? No matter how you slice it, Thanksgiving just isn't
Thanksgiving without turkey. A restaurant owner in California
wanted to know how to roast a turkey for a vegetarian menu

* Then there's the time a lady was picking through the frozen
turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough
for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get
any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

The Silver Lining to the Burning Question
You Burnt the Bird?
A Dozen Reasons to Be Thankful!

• Salmonella won't be a concern
  
• No one will overeat.
  
• Everyone will think it's Cajun Blackened.
  
• Uninvited guests will think twice next year.
  
• Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newly found appreciation.
  
• Pets won't pester you for scraps.
  
• The smoke alarm was due for a test.
  
• Carving the bird will provide a good cardiovascular workout.
  
• After dinner, the guys can take the bird to the yard and play football.
  
• The less turkey Uncle George eats, the less likely he will be to walk around with his pants unbuttoned.
  
• You'll get to the desserts quicker.
  
• You won't have to face three weeks of turkey sandwiches.
  
  Source: Craig Boldman and Pete Matthews, authors of Every Excuse in the Book: 714 Ways to Say "It's Not My Fault."
  

Silly Thanksgiving Jokes!

Why do Pilgrims have trouble keeping their pants up?

'Cause they wear their belts on their hats!

What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?

Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!!

What is the Turkey's favorite black tie celebration?

The Butter Ball

How does a Turkey drink her wine?

In a gobble-let

How many turkeys does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one but it takes 5

Did you hear about the X-rated turkey?

It's served with very little dressing.

What do you get when you cross a turkey, the beach, and Broomhilda?

A turkey sand-witch

What kind of music did Pilgrims listen to?

Plymouth Rock!

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?

The outside!

Why do turkeys eat so little?

Because they are always stuffed!

What did the turkey do in the Thanksgiving Day Parade?

He played his drumsticks!

The Turkey Popped Out of the Oven

The Turkey popped out of the oven

and rocketed in to the air;

It knocked every plate off the table

and partly demolished a chair.

It ricocheted into a corner

and burst with a deafening boom,

Then splattered all over the kitchen,

completely obscuring the room.

It stuck to the walls and the windows,

it totally coated the floor,

There was turkey attached to the ceiling,

where there had never been turkey before..

It blanketed every appliance,

it smeared every saucer and bowl;

There wasn't a way I could stop it;

that turkey was out of control.

I scraped and I scraped with displeasure

and thought with chagrin as I mopped,

That I would never again stuff a turkey

with popcorn that hadn't been popped.

written by Jack Prelutsky

Love this WootShirt!!

Dang...and I'm so annoyed with myself for missing the sale on this tee shirt. WootShirt.com only sells one shirt a day, then it's gone. And I missed it!!

Happy Birthday, Annelise!

Annelise's 15th birthday at Scott's Seafood on the River!

Annie and Madison enjoying their Bao!

Woot Shirt does it again!

"Sperm Whales make great Seamen!"

NSFW (Not Safe For Whales)

http://shirt.woot.com/

2nd place in Derby #118: Visual Puns, with 1103 votes!

PETER, A BOY FROM NANTUCKET: A whale! I’ve sighted a whale! Aye, there’s her spout now! Just off the port bow! A whale, boys, a whaaale!
CAPTAIN BALZAC: Make haste, ye lazy dogs! Ye heard the boy! An extra ration of whiskey for the hand that kills the whale! Stand by the braces! Man the boats! Say, what kind of a whale be she, lad?
PETER: Uh… you know.
CAPTAIN BALZAC: I surely don’t, lad. You’re in the crow’s-nest; you tell me.
PETER: It’s, uh… that is… It’s a…
CAPTAIN BALZAC: Right whale? Pilot? Humpback?
PETER: Sp… a sp… It’s a sp…
CAPTAIN BALZAC: Oh, for the love of Mary, lad, sperm. Sperm, sperm, sperm, sperm, sperm. You’ll never make it in this business if ye’re embarrassed to say “sperm.”
PETER: Aye, cap’n.
CAPTAIN BALZAC: That’s just what they’re called. Sperm whales. It’s a perfectly innocent name. Let’s hear ye say it.
PETER: Uh, right now, cap’n?
CAPTAIN BALZAC: Yes, now! Sperm! Sperm! Sperm! Spit it out!
PETER: Sp-spit it out?
CAPTAIN BALZAC: SPERM! SPERM! Land sakes, boy, how old are you? What kind of seaman do you expect to make?
PETER: I beg your pardon, sir?
CAPTAIN BALZAC: WHAT KIND OF SEAMAN WILL YOU MAKE?
PETER: I’m not, uh… sure. Are there many different kinds?
CAPTAIN BALZAC: What, are ye afraid to become a sailor? Ashamed of the sailor’s life? Worried what your folks will think if ye come home with a salty mouth?
PETER: Uh, maybe you're right, sir. Could you guys just drop me off at Nantucket? I think I've had my fill of seamen for one lifetime.
FIRST MATE CHISHOLM: Captain, the whaleboats are ready! Are you coming?
CAPTAIN BALZAC: No, but I sure am excited!
Wear this shirt: sailing, sailing.
Don’t wear this shirt: as part of a cetacean-themed outfit that incorporates an exposed “whale tail.”
This shirt tells the world: “Heh! Heh! ‘Sperm.’ Heh!”
We call this color: Salty Asphalty
Thanks Woot Shirt! for another memorable piece of apparel!

Aww, Based On A Twue Stowwy

When a Nashville t-shirt designer and his wife found a mother cat and her five kittens, they all learned a lesson about caring, compassion, and Craigslist. The couple rescued them, named them, tamed them – loved them. And then, in a gesture of love that Sting would appreciate, set them free to live at other people’s houses. Except the mom cat, which they kept. And they owed it all to a snazzy graphic ad the designer made and posted on Craigslist.

Then he turned it into a t-shirt design so he could cash in on their adorability, probably without giving the cats a dime in royalties.

Wear this shirt: only if you promise to get it spayed and keep it current on its shots. Oh, and don’t let it out of the house. It’s an indoor shirt.

Don’t wear this shirt: unless you have kittens to give away. Nobody likes a cat-tease.

This shirt tells the world: “The cutest, sweetest, shnookumsest things in life are free. Yes, they are! Yes, they are!”

We call this color: Orange Tabby.
Thanks to http://shirt.woot.com/

Looking for some new shoes?

A hand colored portrait of my mom from 1943

Jeannie Chase, taken in Seattle WA, 1943. Grandma was going to send my mom's photo to Hollywood as they were looking for a new Shirley Temple, but Grandma became ill with TB and spent the next 7 years in a TB sanitarium.

You know your bouquet is too big when...

This picture just cracks me up everytime I see it.  What a fun wedding that was!

It's a Happy Birthday!!

El Burro’s Revenge from www.wootshirt.com
“Please, please! I’m telling you, the candy’s inside me but even if you can get it out it won’t be any good anymore!”

They saw their brother strung up before a bloodthirsty crowd. They watched, helpless, as he was brutally beaten to death for a handful of cheap sweets. They wept as his remains were tossed casually into a dumpster. And they swore that the murderer would never see another birthday.


Wear this shirt: to show your solidarity with PETPMA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Papier-Mâché Animals.

Don’t wear this shirt: to children’s birthday parties. Or anywhere else children might be. Or the parents of children. Just throw it in your drawer and forget about it, pretty much.

This shirt tells the world: “Not so tough when the bat’s in the other hoof, are you?”

I LOVE Wootshirt!!

Fun in San Francisco!

Had a nice time going to the PPC Northern CA Expo yesterday. I also brought my daughter and her two friends, and had a chance to visit my old UCDMC RN buddy, Michele, in Pacifica. We ended the evening by going to Fisherman's wharf and walking around, and checking out the street scene!



Heading over to the coast to foggy Pacifica!

In the 50's and foggy...typical SF weather in summer

Michele and her daugther, Katie

Annelise and her friends having fun on the trampoline!

Watching a street artist create wall art using spray paint, a paint scraper, and other tools.

Totally amazing!

Watching him paint!

The sunglasses divas!

Lights of San Francisco from my truck

The Franciscan Restaurant at Fisherman's Wharf

Check out this cool little film

This film was made by Chi Chi Zhang for her Master's thesis while attending the University of Miami. The rights were bought out by Warner Bros. I just met her today and had a great time talking to her about it and how she filmed this. She wrote this, produced and directed it, as well as doing the voice over. She said the story is true, it about a little girl, (her grandmother) and how she sees the world through her big sister's eyes. After the opening scene, it shows her sister waiting on a potential groom to come call on her. She is already 16 years old, and at that time in China, a young lady usually had someone proposing to her by age 10 or 11. Very creative, nicely done and beautiful lighting. Check it out!

This is priceless!!

My Solar Cooker!

So I bought this solar cooker about 20 years ago at the state fair from Solar Cookers International, based here in Sacramento. I think it is a great concept: they provide these "cookers" to people in Africa and other hot dry areas where they don't have stoves or fuel to cook on, and no trees left to cut down for cooking either. All you need is the solar cooker, a dark or black cooking pan, a big plastic bag that came with, like the one you put your turkey in at Thanksgiving. I had it out in the direct sun for about 6 hours when it was about 105 degrees outside. You can see the results below. Everything was very moist and tasty. Hey - we have all of this sunshine in Sacramento, might as well give it a try. The trick is, like crock pots, to get it ready early and let it cook all day.





I tried using my rice cooker to see if it would work. The results were so - so, plus the pot was not dark enough.

Bayside of South Sacramento Church

Click here to see a news clip from "Saved in the Shade", our church's annual picnic and community outreach this past Sunday.

Woot Shirt for July 23, 2009

LOVE IT!!!!

Translating words and concepts from one language to another can be a difficult and nuanced project. Ask any exchange student who’s ever tried to put the moves on a local. It’s tricky. There are shades of meaning. There are idiomatic expressions. There’s a whole world of difference between “mouth” and “grub-hole.” There are scholars for whom translation is a lifetime’s toil. People are still squabbling over what the heck the Bible says. President Kennedy may very well have been a jelly donut.

That being said, we’ve never understood why, when it comes to the complex task of translating runes, ideograms, hieroglyphs and kanji into simple English nouns like “strength,” so many people put so much trust in the first tattooist they bump into in whatever horrible little Florida town they’ve chosen as this year’s Spring Break destination.

Think about that. Some burly biker freakshow refugee told your kid sister that a certain squiggle was Chinese for “loyalty.” Now, she might have thought “wow, I wonder how he knows that? I wouldn’t have pegged him as someone who’d completed a graduate degree in Asian languages. I suppose you can’t always judge a book by its cover.”

But she didn’t. Instead, she thought “AWESOMMMMMMME, I WANT THAT ONE, QUICK, WHILE I’M STILL DRUNKENUF FROM THESE MUDSLIIIDES SO IT DOESN’T HURRRRT.”

Wear this shirt: to cover up that great big chest tattoo you’ve got of Q*Bert (CBS “Saturday Supercade” version) smoking a huge bong through his proboscis-thing. It seemed so awesome at the time. Who could have guessed you’d outgrow it?

Don’t wear this shirt: around people who actually have binary tattoos. For one thing, they might take it as an insult. For another, you don’t really want to be hanging around with those nerds anyway, do you?

This shirt tells the world: “’Regret’ does not compute”

Cool California Nights is coming up!!

Click on the banner above to get more info. All proceeds help the kids at Shriner's Hospitals. Hope to see you there!!

MonaLisaur!

I LOVE Woot Shirt!!



Ask anyone in the art world. There’s nothing new left anywhere. And if there was, it wouldn’t sell. People don’t want something they’ve never seen before. They want something they’re used to, presented in an unexpected way.

If you want to be a pioneer, you’re just going to have to accept that you’ll be somewhere that no one else will ever be. Maybe once you’re dead, you’ll be remembered. But you’ll never get to enjoy it. And in the meantime, you’re still going to have to eat.
Read more...http://shirt.woot.com/