DespairWear - Some of my Favorites!

I always get such a kick out of these posters! I wish I could take credit for them, but they belong to the folks over at www.despair.com. Great stuff!

Have a Sweet Easter Sunday!

Her Morning Elegance - by Oren Lavie

This is probably the most creative music video I have ever seen.  LOVE the stop motion animation and LOVE the music as well.  Oren Lavie (born 1976) is an Israeli singer, songwriter, playwright, and theatre director. His music video for "Her Morning Elegance" has come in to recent popularity, earning a 2010 Grammy Award nomination for "Best Short Form Music Video".^[1] On March 10, 2009, Oren released his debut album, The Opposite Side of the Sea, in the United States.

February 2010 Oren on Billboard

Her Morning Elegance Gallery Webpage was launched on January 28th with an art exhibition at the F2 Gallery in Bergamot station, Los Angeles. Go to www.hmegallery.com to view the video broken apart to its 2096 still frames.

Her Morning Elegance video will be screened at Centre Pompidu, Paris, as part of the Hors Pistes 2010 contemporary film festival, taking place February 19th - 28th.

December 2nd, 2009

Oren Lavie's "Her Morning Elegance" video has been nominated for a 2010 Grammy Award in the "Best Short Form Music Video" category!

50 Awesome Young Me/Now Me Photos

We’ve all got shoe boxes full of old wacky childhood photos in the basement. I know I’ve always wanted to recreate a shot from long ago and compare the two. Well the website Young Me/Now Me is the site for people who have done just that. Here are some awesome shots from them. P.S. I will let you all know when I post MY young me/now me photo on the site. You do the same!

One of my favorite headlines from the Onion: "Boy's tragic death could have have happened to any family with a 20 foot pet python"

Boy’s Tragic Death Could Have Happened To Any Family With 20-Foot Pet Python

The Dog and Cat Diary- Funny!!

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary:

Day number 180

8:00 AM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 AM - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 AM - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 AM - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 AM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 181

8:00 AM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 AM - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 AM - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 AM - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 AM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 182

8:00 AM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 AM - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 AM - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 AM - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 AM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I AM forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I AM capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I AM finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foAMy chemical called "shAMpoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer.." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I AM convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I AM certain he reports my every move. Due to his current place in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.
This joke is Submited By -alex2

Nutributter: preventing childhood malnutrition across the world!

UC Davis team combats malnutrition

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Buzz up!

By Anna Tong
atong@sacbee.com

Published: Tuesday, Mar. 9, 2010 - 7:09 am

It's a sweet, oily, peanut butter-ish substance capturing the Willy Wonka-ism that mixing sugar and fat is a recipe for success.

Only the UC Davis researchers who created Nutributter have a lofty goal: preventing childhood malnutrition across the world.

Each ketchup-packet-size dose of Nutributter is 4 teaspoons stuffed with 120 calories and all 40 essential vitamins and minerals.

The goal is to get children in developing nations to consume one packet a day, starting in infancy.

"Kids love it," said Steve Vosti, part of the UC Davis team that helped develop Nutributter. "And if we are successful in introducing it, we will have a relatively cheap way of keeping kids on their mental and physical growth paths."

The UC Davis team leads the International Lipid-based Nutrient Supplements (iLiNS) Project, an international collaboration that is currently testing Nutributter in three African countries. Last year, the project won a $16 million Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation grant.

The idea of ready-to-eat food packets originates from Plumpy'nut, a similar paste of oil, milk powder and sugar used to combat severe childhood malnutrition. Each packet has 500 calories, and children can gain 1 to 2 pounds a week by eating it twice daily. In 2004, Plumpy'nut was credited with saving some 30,000 lives in the Darfur region of Sudan.

Nutributter is different because it's not an emergency measure, the researchers said.

Plumpy'nut was designed as a sole food source for severely malnourished children, whereas Nutributter complements - rather than replaces - home-prepared food, said UC Davis nutrition professor Kathryn Dewey. Parents can mix the paste into the foods they feed their children, usually some kind of porridge. Ideally, it will prevent childhood malnutrition and ensure proper cognitive and physical development.

"Many households simply don't have access to highly nutritious foods," Dewey said. "Because infants don't need a lot of calories, we've designed a supplement that is low in calories but has all the essential nutrients."

The iLiNS team is conducting field trials in three African nations: Malawi, Ghana and Burkina Faso. They will enroll about 7,000 infants and pregnant and lactating women, who receive free Nutributter packets in exchange for participating in weekly checkups and surveys.

A 2004-06 Nutributter trial in Ghana reduced childhood anemia and growth stunting and doubled the number of children who could walk independently at age 1.

But Nutributter's positive health effects are just one component of making it a successful venture. The 10-cent packets should be self-sustaining, so that if they were sold in grocery stores, parents would choose to buy them, said Vosti, an economics professor.

"There are plenty of examples of things we know would work, but people simply aren't adopting them," he said. "We need to have a game plan for what can be done to make sure these supplements get into the mouths of youngsters who need them."

One way of doing this is to satiate palates around the world. The team says kids like and ask for the sweet paste, but creating versions using local flavors might make Nutributter more appealing. For example, they are working on a cinnamon-flavored version to be evaluated in Guatemala, and cumin and cardamom versions for Bangladesh, Dewey said.

© Copyright The Sacramento Bee. All rights reserved.

Good news if you enjoy a glass of wine!

Obesity risk lower in women who had 2 or more drinks a day, study finds

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Buzz up!

By Anna Tong 
atong@sacbee.com

Published: Tuesday, Mar. 9, 2010 - 12:00 am | Page 1B

Ladies – it might be time to stop worrying that the Wednesday night glass of wine is just empty calories.

A new study tracking 20,000 American women through middle age found those who had two or more drinks a day gained less weight than their non-drinking counterparts.

The study is published in the March 8 issue ofArchives of Internal Medicine.

Researchers at Brigham and Women's Hospitalin Boston asked normal-weight women 39 years and older to report their weight and drinking habits. Normal weight for women is defined as abody mass index between 18.5 and 25.

Through the nearly 13 years of follow-up, the women steadily gained weight.

However, women who drank more than 30 grams of alcohol a day – about 2 normal-sized drinks – gained the least weight. They gained on average 3.4 pounds, with the amount of weight gained increasing with decreased alcohol consumption. The non-drinkers gained an average of 8 pounds.

When looking at the risk of becoming obese, any woman who imbibed 15 or more grams of alcohol a day – or 1 or more drinks – would be at lowest risk.

Not all alcohol is equally kind to the waistline. While drinking any kind of alcohol decreased the risk of becoming obese, red wine drinkers were least likely to become obese. Beer and liquor came in second, with white wine having the weakest correlation with declining obesity risk.

The findings oppose the conventional wisdom that alcohol is misspent calories.

"I'm really puzzled by the findings," said UC Davis nutrition professor Judith Stern. "I would think that when people drink something at a cocktail party, their inhibitions are lowered and they get the munchies and eat more."

The study's authors think it's because women might forgo dessert if they have the extra glass of chardonnay.

Additionally, "other studies have shown alcohol consumption in women can induce increasedenergy expenditure," said author Lu Wang, an epidemiologist with the division of preventive medicine at Brigham and Women's Hospital.

It's not likely men exhibit the same self-control. Wang cited past studies showing men who drank tended to put on pounds.

Physique aside, research on alcohol and its health implications is mixed.

Experts agree that moderate drinking may reduce the risk of heart disease and strokes, saidValentina Medici, a gastroenterologist at UC Davis Medical Center.

But she said heavy drinking damages the liver and increases risks of certain cancers.

Furthermore, it's more dangerous for a woman to drink heavily.

"High amounts of alcohol are more toxic for women than men," she said. "Women can get sicker and their liver can be more affected at a younger age."

© Copyright The Sacramento Bee. All rights reserved.

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Buzz up!

---

Call The Bee's Anna Tong, (916) 321-1045.

Check out the three-wheeled Spyder Roadster!

I ran into this guy at the Costco gas pumps and couldn't help but notice his cool ride. He told me all about his Spyder, how fun it is to ride and that you don't even need a motorcycle license to drive one. Read more about there HERE.  I know what I want for Christmas this year!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

 Very good article.  I used the techniques and they work great!  Yeaaaa!

How to Clean out Your Gmail Inbox

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

It happened so slowly you hardly noticed. Then one day, you look at your Gmail inbox, and you have hundreds or even thousands of emails, and you have no hope of ever catching up. It seems you have a devil's choice: delete them all and lose the record of all your important emails, or archive them all and keep a bunch of junk you never read for good reason. Luckily, Gmail has some simple but powerful tools to help you search and manage your emails. Here's how to use those tools to quickly and easily clean out an overflowing inbox.

  Steps

1.   Open your gmail account.
2.   In the search box, type "in:inbox is:read" (without quotes) and click the Search Mail button. You will now see the 20 most recent emails you have actually read.
3.   Find the "Select" links just above the table of emails. It will say, "Select: All, None, Read, Unread, Starred, Unstarred".
4.   Click on the word "All" to select all the emails that match your search. All the emails on the page should now be checked.
5.   Click the link at the top of the list that says, "Select all conversations that match this search." This will make sure you have selected even the messages that don't fit on the page.
6.   Click the "Archive" button at the top of the email area. Now all of your read emails have been saved to your archive, where they can be searched but where they won't clutter up your inbox.
7.   Decide how far back you want to check your unread emails for important messages you might have missed. This will depend on how much time you have to spend on the project, and how fast your unread email tends to accumulate. 1 to 3 months is a good rule of thumb. If the email is older than that, either it was important enough that the sender will try to reach you again, or it no longer matters.  For illustration, let's choose a date of August 1st 2009.
8.   Type "in:inbox before:2009/08/01" (use whatever date you have chosen) in the search box, and click "Search".  The format of the date is important. It must be in the form YYYY/MM/DD, with all 4 digits of the year listed first, then the month with two digits, and finally the date with two digits.
9.   Select all of these messages by clicking "All" then "Select all conversations that match this search", just like you did above.
10.   Take a deep breath, and click "Delete".
11.   Confirm that you want to delete all messages. All those messages are in your trash. Hooray!
12.   Click "Inbox" on the navigation bar next to your email list. You should now have nothing but the most recent unread messages.
13.   Scan through your unread mail for important messages you may have missed.
14.   Read the important messages, deal with them, and archive them to get them out of your inbox.
15.   Search for "in:inbox is:unread" to get to all the messages remaining. Select all and delete using the methods described above.
16.   Congratulate yourself, and resolve to never let your inbox overflow again! Read your emails and respond, archive, or delete them promptly from now on.

  Tips

• If you want to be more refined about which emails you archive or delete, read about Gmail's other filtering commands (see link below) and use them to search and take action on your email backlog.
• All the emails you have deleted will be held in your Trash for about a month. If you think of something you might need to recover, you can search the trash by using the search term "in:trash". When you find the message, move it to the archive to save it.

  Related wikiHows

• How to Unsubscribe-from-Spam

  Sources and Citations

• Google's Advanced Search Guide

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Clean out Your Gmail Inbox.  All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

About My Last Will and Testament...

I just got this in my email. Seriously-does anyone really fall for this??

"I was led by my good spirit to use you as a partaker of my Last Will and
Testament. It may sound unbelievable but this is just the truth and I honestly
do not want anything from you in return. Please, get back to me for
details.
Mr. Michael P. Anderson"

Let me know if you want his email address. It was sent from Italy and the return email is in China :-)

I looked up my name in the Urban Dictionary!

Diana
The most popular definition:
The most gorgeous girl you have ever seen.
She has big beautiful eyes and she is small but so cute that you want to pick her up
She smiles all the time and when she smiles it makes you want to smile
She's gorgeous shes is so Diana
Look at those beautiful eyes she is so Diana
The most mystical definition: 

1. an ancient Roman deity, virgin goddess of the moon and of hunting, and protector of women, identified by the Romans with the Greek Artemis.
2. the moon personified as a goddess.

3. (Princess of Wales; Lady Diana Spencer), 1961–97, former wife of Charles, Prince of Wales. 

she definetly looks like a diana

The most practical definition: 

Diana camera is a classic toy camera. A collectible item. It produces weird and dreamy pictures. Dianas have been manifactured somewhere around the 1960's in China.

A Holga is the contemporary Diana of toy cameras.

The wierdest definition: 

somebody who extremly good looking and usually goes to a weird type of school (eg. a private school with boys and girls). a diana ALWAYS has loads of friends and bestie who knows her exreeeemly well. also has beautiful blonde hair which looks great in any other colour because it always shines, too. likes rock, metal, and many other......stuff and is occasionally obsessed with making earrings... unlike her earlier days when she was ALWAYS obsessed with making earrings. PLUS dianas most commonly have purple rooms and are way more awesome than ALL of you!

Guy 1: hey you see that girl over there?
Guy 2: the hot one with the awesomly shiney hair listening to her iPod? with the black top??
Guy 1: yeh her, thats Diana
Guy 2: damn shes beautiful!!
Bestie: back off you perverted freaks why dont you go look at eachother instead of staring at people who are WAAAY out of your league, JEEZ!
Guy 1&2: aaarrrrghh help scary hot chick!! run away!!

The least popular definition:
1) someone who adores goats
2) someone who owns a shoehorn
3) someone who doesn't listen to music
4) someone who can't dance well
1) She really likes goats, she's so diana.
2) Wow, that girl is so diana, she needs a shoehorn to take off her clothes.
3) I hate this song, i must be diana.
4) You can't dance for beans! You are soooo diana!!
(there are a few more online for die-hard Diana fans)

Annelise singing with Alisha looking on

This little video just cracks me up! Watch Alisha clowning around while Annelise is so earnestly singing to the camera. Classic teenage girls!!

Massive Earthquake Reveals Entire Island Civilization Called 'Haiti' | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

INTERNATIONAL

Massive Earthquake Reveals Entire Island Civilization Called 'Haiti'

JANUARY 25, 2010 | ISSUE 46•04

Americans laid eyes on actual Haitians for the first time on Jan. 12.Massive Earthquake Reveals Entire Island Civilization Called 'Haiti' | The Onion - America's Finest News Source 

PORT-AU-PRINCE, HAITI—Less than two weeks after converging upon the site of a devastating magnitude 7.0 earthquake, American anthropologists have confirmed the discovery of a small, poverty-stricken island nation, known to its inhabitants as "Haiti." 

Located just 700 miles off the southeastern coast of Florida, the previously unaccounted-for country is believed to be home to an estimated 10 million people.

Even more astounding, reports now indicate that these people have likely inhabited the impoverished, destitute region—unnoticed by the rest of the world—for more than 300 years.

ENLARGE IMAGE

Researchers believe this was once the capital, though it's unclear if the Haitian people ever had a truly functional government.

"That an entire civilization has been somehow existing right under our noses for all this time comes as a complete shock," said University of Florida anthropology professor Dr. Ben Oliver, adding that it appeared as if Haiti's citizens had been living under dangerous conditions even before the devastating earthquake struck. "Of course, there have been rumors in the past about a long-forgotten Caribbean nation whose people struggle every day to survive, live in constant fear of a corrupt government, and endure such squalor and hunger that they have resorted to eating dirt. But never did we give them much thought."

Added Oliver, "Had it not been for this earthquake, I doubt we would have ever noticed Haiti at all."

Though anthropologists said they still did not know much about Haiti's history, they claimed that, by observing the Haitians' reactions to this particular disaster, and studying the way the people had come together and taken solace in one another's sorrows, it appeared as if most of them were accustomed to tragic, even horrific, events.

Researchers also came to the "startling" conclusion that Haiti's inhabitants must have at some point in their history been exposed to the English language, as many seemed capable of uttering such phrases as "Help us," and "Please don't abandon us again."

ENLARGE IMAGE

"They are normal people just like you and me," said Harvard University's Aimee Coughlin, who before last week had never come across any mention of the struggling island republic, whether in conversation, on television, or while scanning the front pages of newspapers. "They communicate with one another, they have families and loved ones, and they value religion. However, judging by the way they are fending for themselves—a position they seem almost resigned to—it's clear these mysterious Haitian people don't have much else."

According to Coughlin, the Haitian civilization was discovered on the night of Jan. 12, when relief workers were rushed to several resorts in the Dominican Republic to see if any American tourists had been injured in the quake. During an aerial tour of the island of Hispaniola, members of the Red Cross noticed signs of human life coming from Haiti.

"When we first landed there, I thought, 'No person could possibly live here,'" Oliver said. "Not only did the arid landscape look incapable of sustaining any sort of agriculture, but there was absolutely no infrastructure either. Had we known about this desperate, desperate place sooner, perhaps we could have shared some of our technological advancements with them."

"I've vacationed just miles away in beautiful St. Kitts many times," Oliver added. "Never did anyone say anything about this Haiti place."

Members of the world community were equally shocked at the discovery of such an impoverished civilization. U.N. representatives noted that Haiti's location puts it in the direct path of recent natural disasters such as Hurricanes Jeanne, Hanna, and Ike, disasters that probably caused massive flooding, disease, and death.

Likewise, leaders from a number of Western nations announced Tuesday that they were dumbfounded to learn people were still living without decent shelter, hospitals, or regular access to food and water.

"They must have had no way of communicating with the outside world, because had we known about these Haitians, we would have done everything in our power to help them," U.S. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said. "Of that I have no doubt."

Who would have known??? lol



p.s. my heart and prayers go out to Haiti (so please don't think I am being insensitive!) but I wanted to share the sarcasm in the article since it does the raise a good question: where was everyone BEFORE the earthquake? It's always been known what a devastatingly poor country Haiti is, and it's just too bad we had to wait to have thousands of lives lost before some real change starts to happen over there....or hopefully so!

This is so bad it's funny - from "the onion"

VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut Spill

Oh boy...this is priceless! From "the onion"

New Law Requires Women To Name Baby, Paint Nursery Before Getting Abortion

Conan's Goodbye

Very nicely said. Conan is a class act. There sure is something in taking the high road.  I liked his words on cynicism too, good to remember!

It's Kitty Cartoon Tuesday!

Some of my favorite kitty cartoons. The first is from "the oatmeal" blog - one of the funniest blogs I have read. Be sure to check out the post about being a graphic designer - just as true for photographers! The next I posted here before, but I just like it so much I couldn't resist - or as the tee shirt says, "resistance is futile"
Last is one of my all time favorite cartoonists, Gary Larson. I love the dog praying the corner, and the curious cat following the signs to the "cat fud"
Have a great day!

Silly shirts I like

Anyone who knows me, knows that I very warped sense of humor. Here are some shirts I would like to have to celebrate the New Year. 

Here's one gun you need not fear!

Annelise at the Nutcracker!

Annelise and I had the good fortune to invited on opening night to the Nutcracker Ballet at the Sacramento Community Center.  We had a lovely girls night out.  Thank you Natalee!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

 True Stories From The Butterball Turkey Hotline


* Thanksgiving Dinner on the run. A woman called 1-800-323-4848 to
find out how long it would take to roast her turkey. To answer
the question, the Talk-Line home economist asked how much the
bird weighed. The woman responded, "I don't know, it's still
running around outside."

* Tofu turkey? No matter how you slice it, Thanksgiving just isn't
Thanksgiving without turkey. A restaurant owner in California
wanted to know how to roast a turkey for a vegetarian menu

* Then there's the time a lady was picking through the frozen
turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough
for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get
any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

The Silver Lining to the Burning Question
You Burnt the Bird?
A Dozen Reasons to Be Thankful!

• Salmonella won't be a concern
  
• No one will overeat.
  
• Everyone will think it's Cajun Blackened.
  
• Uninvited guests will think twice next year.
  
• Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newly found appreciation.
  
• Pets won't pester you for scraps.
  
• The smoke alarm was due for a test.
  
• Carving the bird will provide a good cardiovascular workout.
  
• After dinner, the guys can take the bird to the yard and play football.
  
• The less turkey Uncle George eats, the less likely he will be to walk around with his pants unbuttoned.
  
• You'll get to the desserts quicker.
  
• You won't have to face three weeks of turkey sandwiches.
  
  Source: Craig Boldman and Pete Matthews, authors of Every Excuse in the Book: 714 Ways to Say "It's Not My Fault."
  

Silly Thanksgiving Jokes!

Why do Pilgrims have trouble keeping their pants up?

'Cause they wear their belts on their hats!

What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?

Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!!

What is the Turkey's favorite black tie celebration?

The Butter Ball

How does a Turkey drink her wine?

In a gobble-let

How many turkeys does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one but it takes 5

Did you hear about the X-rated turkey?

It's served with very little dressing.

What do you get when you cross a turkey, the beach, and Broomhilda?

A turkey sand-witch

What kind of music did Pilgrims listen to?

Plymouth Rock!

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?

The outside!

Why do turkeys eat so little?

Because they are always stuffed!

What did the turkey do in the Thanksgiving Day Parade?

He played his drumsticks!

The Turkey Popped Out of the Oven

The Turkey popped out of the oven

and rocketed in to the air;

It knocked every plate off the table

and partly demolished a chair.

It ricocheted into a corner

and burst with a deafening boom,

Then splattered all over the kitchen,

completely obscuring the room.

It stuck to the walls and the windows,

it totally coated the floor,

There was turkey attached to the ceiling,

where there had never been turkey before..

It blanketed every appliance,

it smeared every saucer and bowl;

There wasn't a way I could stop it;

that turkey was out of control.

I scraped and I scraped with displeasure

and thought with chagrin as I mopped,

That I would never again stuff a turkey

with popcorn that hadn't been popped.

written by Jack Prelutsky